In the Darkness Light Shines

It occurred to me as I was watching the news on the Boston Marathon bombing today that it is always against the backdrop of humanity's darkest actions that the light of  kindness and love that we are also capable of shines brightest. In every tragedy I have seen, while there seems to be an incomprehensible evil behind what has taken place (9/11, the Sandy Hook Shootings etc.) there is also an incredible sense of the bond of humanity shares that blows away all our trivial separations and immediately binds us together in the face of such events. As I've been watching the news today, I keep seeing pictures of strangers helping strangers and people staying for hours with a stranger they just met to help them through the  crisis...incredible. People serving for hours and hours with no regard for themselves. I am moved. What strikes me is that the evil behind this doesn't comprehend that they never win. Never. Every blow they strike serves to show the resilience of the human spirit. Good WILL always triumph over evil. Because we are in the image of God and we operate out of that whether we get it or not; people will work redemptively in the face of evil. Always. Whoever these people are behind this...they just don't get it. We will prevail. We always do. Hatred dies and is buried with the hater. Love lives on and its legacy never dies. One of my new favorite verses in Scripture is I Corinthians 15: 26 "And the last enemy to be destroyed is death." Death will die. It will be defeated and we will be there to see it. II Timothy 1:10 says "And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News." There is still Good News. No matter how hard they try, that Good News is still Good and still True. 

The Greatest Gifts We Can Give Our Kids

The Greatest Gifts We Can Give our Kids

 Here's my short but complete list of the greatest gifts we can give our kids:

• ·      Clear out your view of love based on your experiences
• ·      Accept that authority and discipline without love is a gong (I Cor. 13)
• ·      Write down and pray through all the verses of God’s love for us
• ·      Model love and forgiveness with your spouse
• ·      Ask forgiveness of your kids when you screw up
• ·      Live in Front of them that we are flawed but forgiven
• ·      Tell them that Perfection is only in Jesus
• ·      Pray, pray and pray some more for them—every day let them see you pray
• ·      Tell them they are sinners, or they won’t know why they need Him
• ·      Laugh at yourself; model not taking yourself too seriously
• ·      Don’t tolerate half-truths or half-apologies (God doesn’t either)
• ·      Tell them you love them at the moments they are least deserving of it
• ·      Tell them you forgive them when you discipline them and they ask forgiveness
• ·      Remind them that they can’t do anything they set their minds to; they can do what God has created them to do; its ok not to be good at everything
• ·      Let them speak correction into your life when its true; we aren’t the standard of right and wrong (the law), God’s Word is
• ·      Laugh with them as much as possible
•      Read aloud to them  and with them and let them see you reading regularly
• ·      Listen to their complaints as long as they say it respectfully
• ·      Let them fail at things and talk them through it
• ·      Be honest with them about their strengths and weaknesses
• ·      Prepare them for the tasks they have to do on their own (boy and girls): housecleaning, cooking, yard work—don’t let your perfectionism get in the way of their need for training
• ·      Prepare yourself to let them go, if you love them they will always come back
• ·      Accept that you will be second place to a spouse and support that!

Faith Depends on Remembering

Faith Depends on Remembering

Recently our pastor preached a sermon on Psalm 13. It was timely because as I was listening I couldn't help thinking about a single friend of mine who has recently lost her mom. I think what keeps me coming back to the Scriptures over and over, among other things is that fact that the writers of the Scriptures keep it real. There is no candy coating or glossing over the messiness of humanity and God's dealing with us.  

David and the other Psalmists in particular keep it real. I have perused other self-professed holy books and they just don't bring messy to the table like the Bible does. I love the fact that David really tells how he really feels. He says what we all feel at times, "How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?" His sense of abandonment is real. His sense of lonliness and isolation is real. And He doesn't follow the recommend formula of praise, adoration, confession, intersession....Nope. Just why are you not answering me? Why don't I feel your presence or see evidence of your working on my behalf?

But his shift comes when he remembers. That is exactly what I fail to do when I am in a crisis of despair. I forget where I have been. There was a reason when God parted the Jordan River for Joshua and his crew that He told them to gather stones of remembrance. Because the first thing we do in a crisis is lose our mind. Literally. Research shows that the affect of Cortisol on the brain, the stress hormone, is that it inhibits the brain's ability to recall stored information, properly process new information, and use critical thinking. 

So it is central to the practice of our Spiritual lives that we look back. In the sense that one does when you have wound your way up a mountain pass and you can look back from the top and see the journey in its entirety that you have just made. The twists and turns of the road made that impossible as you were climbing.  But from the backward glance you can see it clearly, all of it. It's so basic but it merits repeating:  We are not to interpret God's goodness according to our circumstances, but our circumstances according to God's goodness. And when David remembered he could say "I have trusted in your steadfast love...because He has dealt bountifully with me." So I pray to remember, and not forget all the ways and times God has shown up; so when I think He's running late, I can remind myself, just like with a trusted friend, He'll be here soon. He always shows up.

Someone has your Back

Someone Has Your Back

II Samuel 21: 15-22

Once again the Philistines were at war with Israel. And when David and his men were in the thick of battle, David became weak and exhausted. Ishbi-benob was a descendant of the giants; his bronze spearhead weighed more that seven pounds, and he was armed with a new sword. He had cornered David and was about to kill him. But Abishai son of Zeruiah came to David’s rescue and killed the Philistine. Then David’s men declared, “You are not going out to battle with us again! Why risk snuffing out the light of Israel?” After this there was another battle against the Philistines at Gob. As they fought, Sibbecai from Hushah killed Saph, another descendant of the giants.  During another battle at Gob, Elhanan son of Jair from Bethlehem killed the brother of Goliath of Gath. The handle of his spear was as thick as a weaver’s beam!  In another battle with the Philistines at Gath, they encountered a huge man with six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot, twenty-four in all, who was also a descendant of the giants. But when he defied and taunted Israel, he was killed by Jonathan, the son of David’s brother Shimea. These four Philistines were descendants of the giants of Gath, but David and his warriors killed them.

Ok, I can feel the eye rolls right now. I just sense as I’m writing this that you are like “Let me get my cup of coffee first.” I know, it is a bit of a weird text to pick, but I’ve told you, I like the weird ones. Actually this story is awesome, but it is a bit like sitting down to an episode of a great TV series. There’s a lot of background, if you don’t know, you wont get what you’re watching, no matter how good the scene is. You need someone to push pause on the remote and give you a quick catch up. Let me give you the quick catch up. Trust me. This one IS a gem.

You know that when God promised Abraham to make him a great nation, he also promised him land, specifically the land of Canaan. And years later, when Israel got to near the promised land, God told Moses to send some men to scout out the land He had promised them. They came back with a report that the land was flowing with milk and honey, but they were completely against taking the land, because the land  was filled with giants. They saw no way that they could overcome the people who possessed that land.  All except one man—Joshua, who said lets go in and take the land God has promised us.  God was so disgusted with His people for not believing He could help them take the land, He let that entire generation die off before taking their descendants into the land, with Joshua as their leader.

But Israel wasn’t completely obedient you see even then. They didn’t destroy all of the inhabitants as God commanded. They didn’t destroy all their enemies, and in fact learned their ways of idol worship, which was the whole reason God wanted those people destroyed. The end result, was that years later, even after Israel had established herself as a kingdom, they were still plagued with some of these groups of people who had been a thorn in their side from the day they entered the promised land. And the very group of people, the most daunting enemy they faced were these descendants of the giants. Are you starting to see the picture here?

But it gets better. Remember that David was not the first king of Israel. Saul was. And during the reign of Saul when David was still a teenager guarding his dad’s sheep he went out to check on his brothers and saw the battle raging with the Philistines, and heard their champion fighter Goliath raging against Israel and her God. Without hesitation, while the rest of the army of Israel quaked in their boots at the sight and sound of this fearsome warrior, just one man stood up and said, “I will go.” Sound familiar? And that day God used that small shepherd boy David who stood before Goliath and said: You come at me with sword, spear and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the Lord will conquer you, and I will kill you….and everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues His people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!” (I Samuel 17: 45-47) (NLT)

Can you imagine that scene? Goliath thought it was some kind of a joke that the army of Israel would send out as their champion this small shepherd boy to fight. And David didn’t even go out there with armor on. It wasn’t what he was used to. He used a slingshot and a handful of stones. And it only took one stone, and it hit Goliath right between the eyes. This legendary warrior went down with one small shot. But David overcame that day because God had prepared him. He had given him the battles with the bear and the lion, to give him the confidence that day to know that God was always with him, and that’s what mattered.

Now fast forward a few decades. David is now on the throne of Israel, and finishing the job that Joshua started, of taking the land of Canaan for God’s people. David is once again fighting the Philistines, which includes these annoying giants. They know who David is and they haven’t forgotten what he did. They have it in for him. But David isn’t in a good place. Things have happened. He’s undergone two rebellions to take his throne and two of his sons have just died. He is not himself. But there is still work to be done. The battle never ends, even when he’s too tired to fight. 

It’s really an amazing scene. This is the guy that we have seen is larger than life. He can do anything. He has been God’s man. He is still God’s man. But today, for this battle, he doesn’t have it. He is not on his game, and he is about to get killed. But someone has his back. God may have let David win the battle with Goliath without an army backing him. But….God’s army was there. And on this day, when this bad-to-the-bone group of giants show up, they want one thing: David dead! But even on David’s worst day, at his weakest moment, in the worst situation possible, God has him covered. He knew that that day, David needed community. He didn’t need to be a lone ranger. God never needed him to be, but I’m sure at times because of his incredible calling, he must have felt that way. The reality was though, God always had his back.

I imagine that many of you women reading this are fearsome women. You can bring it. You know how to get the job done, and you are force to be reckoned with. But I have news for you. Good news. God has your back. He knows when and how to surround you with help, when you don’t even see what’s coming.  So when you reach that place, and those moments where you realize you just can’t do it—that’s ok. God has given you community. He’s given you who and what you need for this day, and this fight, no matter how weary you are, He has your back. Rest in Him. Rest in His provision. The battle will be won because it’s His battle. He knows what you need even before you ask for it, and He will provide you help from on high.

One of my favorite verse of Scripture comes from Deuteronomy 33: 26. It says:

           

There is none like the God of Jeshurun,

who rides the heavens to your help, and

            Through the skies in His majesty.

The eternal God is a dwelling place,

            And underneath are the everlasting arms.  (NASB)

Oh friend, today, do you know those everlasting arms? Rest in Him. Rest in His arms. He is able. No matter how weary you are, no matter how fearsome your enemy or your battle, He has you. You are His. You are safe. His nearness is your protection.

Oh God of Jeshurun, how grateful I am that today, I am yours. You know the battle I face more than I do. Give me eyes to see all the ways that have gone before me. All the ways that you have my back and take care of me when I am weary. I confess, I am weary. I need you today Lord. Live your life in me. Teach me what it is to glory in my weakness, because when I am weak, you are strong. Help me to know that I don’t have fight every battle. That you mean me to be in community, and to trust other people to show up for me.  Bring me today Lord the help that I need. Surround me with your provision. Thank you for all that you have given me in yourself. I rest in you. I rest in you, O Savior. In Jesus name, who is my refuge, Amen.

Parenting the Heart

I have been noticing a trend lately with my two year old: Anything that he does not want that I offer to his baby sister, he regains a sudden interest in. I think God saved the best commandment, the hardest for last: Thou shalt not covet. Its not about evident behavior, its about the heart.  It's the latest challenge for me these days.

How do I parent in such a way that I deal with the squishy issues of the heart and motives through the evident behavior? After all I am trying to parent in a way that points above me to something/one higher. It is hard to do with a two year old and not feel like you are being a legalist. You can't make rules about everything.

I'm finding that I get why the pharisees developed so much commentary on the OT. They wanted to make the application clear. That's the deal though. You can't prescribe it.

What I do think kids get much better than my holding their behavior under a microscope, is holding my own. I have had to apologize to my two year old at least half a dozen times now, and that's probably a conservative estimate. Its amazing that I can tell Isaac not to yell in anger, but when I have and apologize, it registers with him.

Its humbling to realize as a parent that probably my best parenting, the lasting impact of my parenting may not be the ways in which I did it right, but modeling how to handle my doing it  wrong. What I mean is that my most important lesson to my children is not how to NOT sin and how to be perfect all the time. Its how to repent and have brokenness about my sin. How to both accept my own forgiveness and be a conduit of God's forgiveness to others. That doesn't happen without admitting that my own sin shows up to the party frequently, and allowing my repentance process to be evident to my children.

Boy its been a strange and humbling realization that my biggest impact on my kids might be their watching my failures and how I deal with that. It is the ultimate test of what I really say I believe.

So I hold up a standard to them which neither I nor they can meet, and then hold up the cross. No wonder Jesus says, "I am the vine, you are the branches, he who abides in me and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit. For apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15:5. Jesus, let me walk before my kids in such a way that they see your redemptive work in my life and theirs. Amen.