What to Pray For

I know at various points of my life I have struggled with how to pray. I've decided there is one prayer that needs to permeate my spiritual life: unity. In my marriage God is most glorified not by how Mike and I resolve conflict, or stay committed, or act in love, but by our being one flesh. Its counter-intuitive and contradictory to all that we know. To what society and even our own sense of self tells us. But it is being a part of something bigger than ourselves, that ultimately brings God the glory. If in fact that is my goal--something to consider. It is our one-fleshness, our unity which gives a picture of how God loves His church. This is the goal of my marriage; not happiness, not personal fulfillment. Being a tangible picture of God's intangible qualities. In doing that I join the rest of nature in singing a song of His praise, a song without words. 

And this prayer isn't just for the stage of marriage. Paul says that we make his joy complete by being of the same mind, having the same purpose--united in spirit, serving the Lord. What would the church look like if we all showed up and served with one main goal: unity in love. I honestly can't imagine how transforming it would be. That would be a place everyone would belong. God is not most glorified when I am doing some awesomeness in my spiritual gift, but when my spiritual gift is building up and into the body of Christ. You know in the world's view it is the individualist, the icons who stand apart that make the greatest impact. But that isn't God's model. The icons, the stand-alone's don't point to something beyond themselves. They make themselves the icons. But that isn't our purpose is it? We aren't called to be icons, or superheros. We are called to be a part of something else. When I am functioning in my part as a body, the body works. It is a working unified body that is a mystery, a silent sermon without words that echoes into the world--a glorious mystery that testifies to someone who holds it together--that points to this truth: There is a head to the body: Christ, and it is "In HIM all things hold together" (Colossians  1). In this model He is the superhero. He is the one who makes the impact. And that's the actual truth of all things. So maybe I should walk in that more. Think on that more. So...I'm putting unity at the top of my prayer list. Its a prayer that ungirds all the work I am called to do. 

Things aren't always what they seem

So I had a fresh (no pun intended) lesson on this truth yesterday from my son. I was sitting on the couch and he was playing with his room. From the other room he calls out to me "Mommy, there's a bug in my room!" To which I reply, "Well then squish it. Get something and smash it on the ground!" So my son comes in the living room and dutifully smashed the "Caterpillar" on the floor. [I though the bug he was referring to was a roach]. Then he comes over to me and as he's placing something into my hand says, "Mommy, here's a caterpillar." I look down and I'm holding a piece of poop. Cat poop to be specific. As I'm dry heaving my way to the bathroom, I pass a pile of smashed poop on the ground as well. (Those were my specific instructions to my son to smash the bug). I went from being so pleased with myself for teaching my son to face his fears, to being completely horrified at my lack of investigation before I gave advice. Presumption can be a very dangerous thing. (And sometimes creates quite a mess too.)

Graphic Novels--Good or Bad?

Well the research says....they are good!! Don't feel bad about letting your reluctant leader load up on these. Of course its not your goal for them to only ever read graphic novels, but it can keep kids (typically teenaged boys) engaged in reading when they otherwise would not. One author I read said that when he was still a struggling reader who hated reading, the thing that actually got him back on the road to becoming a reader was graphic novels. Why aren't they bad..Here are my reasons:

• All beginner readers start with picture books (think about baby and toddler books)--so if you child is struggling its ok to have pictures that provide a lot of visual support
• For kids struggling with background knowledge (not knowing much about the subject) having pictures for every scene gives them context and visual clues to decipher vocabulary or even subject matter
• It connects reading to visualizing--a very critical skill in reading (granted it does the visualizing for them), but it also teaches kids to think "make the movie in my head"
• Research shows that boys typically lose interest in reading from a period of age 10-15 so getting to read anything, keeps their foot in the door as a reader. It keeps the habit of reading part of their routine--sooooo important in the long haul. Habit is 9/10th's of the life-long reader success.
• You can find graphic novel series that are actually retellings of classics such as Sherlock Holmes, Shakespeare or Edgar Allen Poe so it gives them an easier version while acquainting them with the subject matter
• Graphic novels that depict historical time frames really give kids a sense from the pictures of life then, as well as build their background knowledge
• It can peak their interest in a subject that will make them seek out real books on the topic: the Civil War, the Middle Ages, etc....
• I have personally observed watching reluctant readers in my classroom reengage reading when I give them graphic novels. They don't feel like they are reading, it feels easier, but it gets them from not reading, to reading. 
• Its still better for them cognitively than TV or video games--SAY YES!!

So I hope this helps you feel better about graphic novels. Happy Reading!

Getting Your Kids Hooked on a Book--tricks of the trade

Getting Your Kids Hooked on a Book--

or should I say Getting the hooks of a book into your kids

Let me tell you a little story about an important lesson I learned my first year as a reading teacher. I had decided to read The Diary of Anne Frank with my eighth graders. I was excited. I loved that book when I read it in middle school. So I handed it out to my class, did a short introduction and gave them their first reading assignment. After a few days, they came back complaining they were bored. They hated the book. I had a terrible time getting them to read it. They didn't want to take it home. I didn't know my students well enough to get that they didn't know anything about the Nazis. Most of my kids had never heard of concentration camps or WWII.  Therefore the story seemed "boring" and irrelevant to them. Teacher failure big time. 

Then I started my graduate work in Reading and some BIG light bulbs went on. The book I was reading was talking about how the brain learns by attaching new information to prior learning (things we already know). If the brain isn't familiar with the information it doesn't know where/how to store it, and will dump it from working memory as fast as you read it. Don't you remember reading text books in college with lots of detailed information about a subject you weren't familiar with and you couldn't remember at all what you read? That's why.

The following year I decided to apply what I had learned and do an experiment with my kids. I decided to read Anne Frank again with my eighth graders but this time, I took some time introducing it. I found a documentary that interviewed survivors who knew Anne Frank, showed video footage of the concentration camps and who talked about the Nazis. It showed pictures of her with her family and read clips from her diary.  I showed them some video clips of Hitler and the concentration camps. I also tried to help them connect with Anne by introducing themes from the book about teenage identity struggle. I read the first few chapters aloud and stopped to discuss it. I provided a vocabulary list so that unfamiliar words were right there for them as they read. By day three of showing the video and reading with them, my kids were begging to take the book home. Every single one of my kids finished the book that year. At home. Night and Day difference. 

 Its so easy as a teacher or a parent when we hear our kids say a book is boring to tell them just to try harder and concentrate. But we're not thinking about learning then. The brain needs relevance and context to attach information to stored/prior learning. So when our kids say something is boring--we need to translate that. What they are saying is "Why are we reading this?" "What does this mean?" or "I don't understand this. This makes no sense to me." Those are statements we can really do something with. That is our opportunity to dig into the book a little and find out what the context is. Did it take place in the civil war? Maybe you need to watch some PBS with them, or find some video clips online. Is it a story from the deep south? You might need to explain about racism. Find out what the topic is and if the  book really needs some explanation of the setting or background information to understand what's taking place in the book. 

I have found that I can hook kids on almost any book if I give them the relevance and the context of the book, and read the first few chapters aloud, so they can get into the world of the book in their minds. Once they can picture the world of the novel, it's like a good movie--they want to see the ending.

Many times the books kids bring home from school for summer reading need a little "front loading."  They need a little information, explanation and context for the kids to understand what they are reading. If the school doesn't provide that, go ahead and do the ten minutes of work to help you child get the information they need to understand the book. Try to find a point of interest with the book that they can connect with. If you do, you will get them hooked on the book. It's so worth the time and effort on your part. And the time you spent helping them understand what they are reading will pay off when you don't have to fight them to finish it! 

Happy Reading!

Tommy Nelson: Great wisdom on decision-making and God's will

Decision Making and The Will of God

"How do you know the will of God?"  At every Campus Crusade Christmas Conference that was the title of the workshop that always drew standing room numbers.  Because every Christian has wondered in the midst of crucial decisions if they were deciding in keeping with God's will. So how do you know the will of God?  Before we answer the question we must discuss the question of the will of God.  There are three distinctives to the will of God. There is God's decretive will:  It is also called the moral will of God.  It is the Bible. Those things that God expressly forbids or allows.  There is no decision on these things.  One merely reads and obeys. Then there is the providential will of God.  These are those things that God has allowed or caused to happen.  We don't make decisions on these things either.  We only decide how we will respond to what has taken place.  We trust then do what we can.  And then there is what we shall call the non-moral will of God, or perhaps the right or left will of God as opposed to the right or wrong will.  Some have called it the neutral will of God. This is the decision that we fret over.  It's not moral.  It's not biblical.  It's a personal decision. There is no ordained sense of guidance.  Can I be wrong?  Culpable? Should I take the job offer?  Marry that Christian man or woman whom I truly love?  Homeschool or private?  Private or public?  Buy this house?  Have this surgery? If there is revelatory guidance, how do I know it? Am I responsible to find it?  Are feelings my guide? At what point am I free to make my "own" decisions?  The restaurant I choose?  My car? Does God allow choices?  Free ones?  Does He still guide me in my direction? So how do you make a right and left decision? Don't worry about finding "the dot."  I'll use the word "dot" as meaning "the specific revealed will of God."  God doesn't ask us to find it and besides - how would you find it?  Would you hear a voice or receive a sign or an angel appear or a dream?  Or (and be honest - we've all done this),  you would read your Bible and interpret whatever you read as leading you one way or the other.  How about opening the Bible and sticking your finger down at random?  Your Bible now becomes your tea leaves or runic stones or crystal ball.  Your means of divination.  Perhaps the biggest problem with trying to find "the dot" is that you'll find it!  You will interpretsomething as the will of God and that can be dangerous.  All kinds of ignorance has been laundered this way. God certainly can speak audibly but that is what He can freely do, not what we are commanded to hear.  Know that it's ok to choose.  Part of being Adam was that he acted freely as God gave him the freedom.  Whatever he named the animal that it was.  He was to subdue, cultivate, and rule as he saw fit.  God gave him direction and boundaries but within them Adam was free.  It's ok.  You're not proud in choosing or disobedient or self-willed.  You are a redeemed human, a mature son or daughter of God.  You've had your Bar-Mitzvah through Christ.  You can choose.  Robots do not glorify God, sons do.  NO one in scripture is ever punished for making a neutral or non-moral decision.  Halted or redirected maybe, but never judged.  Check your motive:  "All a man's ways are right in his sight but God weighs to motives." (Proverbs).  Why do you want what you want?   Check your heart:  The burden of the heart is a very real and good thing.  The Book of Nehemiah says that Nehemiah told no one what "God had laid upon my heart."  Paul spoke of his longing to come to Rome and his desire to go to Spain.  God gives us "the desires of our hearts" as we trust Him.  He "wills and works" in us for His good pleasure.  He can produce a longing. A point needs to be clarified here.Paul said, "All those led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God." (Romans 8:14)  But the leading of God's Spirit is toward morality and conduct not in an extra-biblical knowledge.  People often misapply this verse to support God's special knowledge through the Spirit instead of His guiding in conduct. Ask around:  "Where there is an abundance of counselors there is victory. (Proverbs)  Others who have walked the paths of life have made many of the same decisions.  You may find your decision is a lot more black and white than you thought.  Pray for the providence of God:  Though God lets us choose still He guides us.  We are given the privilege to choose but we are not at the mercy of our choices.  Paul longed to go to Rome but God prevented him because He had more immediate purposes. (Romans 15:20-22).  We perceive in the scripture God's purposes and pleasure then we plan, long, act and choose as we prayerfully trust His headship.  He can say "yes, no or later."  Make certain you are obeying God in the things He has revealed so you can be guided in what He has not: "Being in the way the Lord led me." (Psalms) "Walk before Me and I will establish My covenant with you." (Genesis 17) Are you in church, walking in purity, honoring God financially, in subjection in the areas God calls you to submission?  God doesn't steer parked cars.  Faithful folks will always be led. The girl I dated for four years was a sweet girl but I had developed a new direction in the things of the Great Commission.  I felt, reasoned, and surmised from what I read and from the counsel of three older men that she was the right girl, but for another man.  I heard no voice from heaven but made a choice.  I met Teresa and made another decision.  (The fact that her father owned his own oil company meant nothing.)  I chose as wisely as I could and God directed me.   I chose to do evangelism living hand to mouth for one year.  God blessed the choice.  I chose to be a college director at a Methodist church.  God blessed the choice. I felt the need for deeper knowledge so I chose to go to Dallas Theological Seminary.  They said no to the degree program I chose but I had reasons for doing the two year rather than the four.  I continued to press - they said yes.  God has blessed it.  No voices, just guidance. The Methodist job shut down and I had three choices.  Methodist, Baptist or a young Bible Church meeting in the Optimist Gym.  I felt and surmised from my doctrinal position and the counsel of good men to go with Denton Bible.  I did.  God blessed it. My wife and I have made decisions on birth control, home schooling, home buying, our son's college direction, our son's military desires, caring for parents and on and on.  I have never heard the voice of God nor have I sought for it.  God did not call me to be mystic or robotic but to be wise, well read, prayerful - and a man - assertive, of sanctified willfulness, initiating - and trusting His guidance without hesitation or apology.                                                                         So . . . relax.                                                             Do right, be free, be strong, be wise . . . then trust. Tommy  Copyright 2013 Tommy Nelson