God's faithful brown bag

So, Wednesday night I got woken up from a lovely nap with my newborn daughter to some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. After it had escalated from a 5 to a 9 on the pain scale in about 20 minutes we decided it was time for a trip to the ER. So Mom, her sweet friend and neighbor Maj and I were on our way to the ER and all the sudden I felt horribly nauseous and just knew I was going to throw up. And I did.

Ok, back up to the day before. Mom and I were running errands and decided to get a treat for Isaac while we were running around. We were throwing away our trash from the Sonic run and I couldn't find that pesky brown paper bag that all the food had come in and I was so annoyed. Where is that dumb paper bag? I thought to myself, really annoyed that I could never seem to get the car cleaned out to any level of decency. 

Well as I was leaning forward the next day and knowing that I had only seconds before I would have to completely throw up all over my car, there it was. The paper bag. And as hokey and silly as this may sound, in the midst of my pain and the chaos of the moment, the Lord was there, right there in the brown paper bag. All the sudden in the part of my brain that connects to my spirit and my soul--something registered. God is here. In the chaos, going before me in ALL the details, including this paper bag. 

My untidy loose ends are His tidy ones. His sovereign order at work in the midst of my disorder. And He is great enough to pay attention to running the universe and make sure that paper bag was where I needed it when I needed it. And if He can go before me in even this, He can go before me in the much more significant much more substantial details of this trial as well. Praise Him that His goodness condescends to the measly mundane details of our lives to prove over and over the greatness of His power.

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide, in every change He faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Contentment: What's on your plate?

I find myself reflecting quite a bit about my single days in my walk with the Lord. I remember one particular day having a powerful lesson with the Lord. I was working at a private Christian school at the time and liked to go outside during my lunch period and enjoy some sunshine on my break. This particular day I was feeling very sorry for myself, bemoaning my singleness and in the spirit of authentic prayer told the Lord, "I am single, and starving here. You know I'm struggling to be content in my singleness and you won't provide me the meal of marriage." The Lord answered me as He frequently does with a picture and a word.

At once in my mind there was an image of a plate with a hot meal on it. And with the picture the Lord spoke this to my heart: "Child, everyday I give you exactly what you need for life and godliness. I prepare a table before you everyday. But some days you refuse to eat. You have decided that you get to pick the meal, and if you can't have what you want, you won't eat. That is why you starve." It was a humbling moment for me for sure. I felt somewhat like Job must have when the Lord answered him; there was some real food for thought, and I needed to shut my mouth and chew on it. And I find that lesson has stuck with me. Everyday the Lord in His infinite wisdom has gives me what He knows I need for today. Each and every day He brings to me His new mercies which are new every morning. The question is: Do I come to the well and drink? Do I eat the bread of life? I can receive His gifts to me for that day, even if they look to me to be burdens or broccoli. Or do I stubbornly decide that if certain things aren't on my plate I'm not being fed? It is my constant prayer that I respond to His daily manna with a hungry heart, knowing that He knows what I need so much better than I do. For God's invitation to His people is one of open abundant provision:

Isaiah 55 says, "Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; And you who have no money, come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance. Incline your ear and come to Me. Listen, that you may live."